Killer Night, Killer Chocolate

There we are with Tricia Dunn-Luoma, the 3 time medal-winning Olympian hockey player! How cool is that? Tricia graced us with her presence in the naughty pine last night for the latest Feminine Hijinx show!!! As usual there were many, many laughs. Today I was literally weeping into my Killer Chocolate Sauce (recipe of Stephanie's that is truly KILLER--just click on provided the link and scroll down below the comments to get it for yourself!) that I was making as I was listening to it. Tricia is so much fun, and truly an inspiration. How could she not be great, agreeing to yuk it up with us minxes?!

Once again I am trying to recover today from our evening of debauchery. I had all the good intentions of going to the gym, but alas, I could not drag my lazy butt over there today. So instead I made something to put ON my lazy butt (the chocolate sauce, it will most definitely end up there) and will have to work twice as hard to remove it later. Ah well. All worth it, I must say.

A New Day

Coo man, coo! I woke up this morning to an email informing me that Feminine Hijinx is now a 'featured podcast' on Digital Podcast! There is a little interview there for you to read and everything. This whole thing just blows me away, I love it!

Ahhhh, the sun. Dare I say maybe NOW it's finally spring? I do see high 40's and--gulp--50's in the forecast. That is a very good thing. Between attending the Jesus Christ Superstar musical that Vivian is in--let's face it, no matter where you're at with that story, with betrayal, whipping, hanging and crucifying, it's pretty depressing and intense!--and then watching "Empire of the Sun" with the Coreman the other night, this girl needed a little sunshine.

"Empire" is an incredible movie, but it's one of those that I probably won't be clamoring to see again any time soon. Kind of like "Schindler's List". That's one of my all-time favorites, but when do you say to yourself, "I really feel like being thoroughly depressed this evening. I think I'll watch a movie that will tear my heart out and make it so I wake up with extremely puffy eyes tomorrow morning." Doesn't happen often.

So! Bring on the sunshine! Bring on more Feminine Hijinx exposure! It's all good!

A Day of Culture

Most days I sit around and feel badly about how I feel like our family rarely does anything. Oh, we are very blessed in many things and many ways, but I'm talking more about sheer laziness. We never go see shows, rarely go to art museums, things like that. So I was feeling pretty good yesterday, cuz we just happened to do both!!!

I was sitting here on yet another gloomy March day wondering what the heck I'd do with the kids on their day off from school. For whatever reason, the Minneapolis Institute of Arts popped into my head as a great place to go. Now, I realize that asking a 5 year old to appreciate art is a little ridiculous, but I figured any place other than THE HOUSE where he could run (or, walk) off some steam would be a good thing. And sneak a little bit of culture in at the same time. Plus it's free. So what's not to like?!

Vivian brought her notebook so she could take some sort of notes about the art. (cute!) I have no idea what she was writing, but I'm sure it made her feel important. What a great place, I had not been there in YEARS. I highly recommend it. There is just something about seeing a real Maxfield Parrish or VanGogh in person that is pretty amazing. Even if I was looking at them in warp speed. Sullivan did pause long enough at this painting to say, "Now, THAT'S a Sullivan thing!" Hilarious. Maybe there's hope for him yet. :-) No butt plugs at this museum (see earlier blog entry about prostate warmers at the Science Museum!), but there were some nice paintings of crucifixions and bloody severed heads for the Gross Factor. That always makes things more interesting.

Then last night was opening night for Jesus Christ Superstar, the musical Vivian is in at the church! What a great time. Now granted, it is painful Community Theater, and some people may not exactly consider that culture, but I have to say there is some serious talent involved in that show. You just have to overlook the small things like 11 year olds playing apostles, stuff like that. Vivian was shining, so obviously in her element. Kim, Brian and Emily came, complete with opening-night flowers for Vivian. So sweet!!!

So, a little culture for the Shuberts. Now I can go back to letting the kids watch Scooby Doo and not feel so guilty for a while.

The Camo Conspiracy

I took Vivian shopping today to get a couple of tank tops. She let me know yesterday that she needed some for the play she's in, of which the opening night is tomorrow. (Typical!) It wasn't as difficult as I imagined it would be to find tank tops in March, but it was nigh impossible to find one that didn't have some sort of sequined pattern or ridiculous bead work all over it. Not only are they the most God-awful tacky things that only Liberace or one of the Village People would love, we're supposed to be able to wash these things? I can only imagine what the machine would look like after washing. Beads and sequins everywhere, and then the Coreman would end up with nice girlie sequins on his underwear. (or in them--ouch!)

But anyway, we were looking at some tanks and Vivian points to a peasant-type skirt--again, with more beads and sequins. Apparently the Eastern Indian/Hippie thing is really in. Succumbing to my little tween's new-found love of fashion, I allowed her to pick out a skirt. Then we walked to the other side of the girlie area and she flipped her lid over the camouflage--that is the other 'In' thing, I am guessing from the amount of it that I saw. Camo?? That's one of those things I could never get into. Brings to mind the whole Bambi thing. I've never even bought Sullivan anything in camouflage, even if it was pint-sized and really cute. Uh uh, no killing of innocent little animals here. I don't care if some of the camo is pink, it's camo. Or green with a ruffle and a bedazzling butterfly. Still brings images of carnage to me. All of a sudden it dawned on me today. I think this whole camo rage is a Bush Conspiracy. Why stop at trying to convince adults that this war is a good idea? Why not subliminally try to sway little pre-pubescent girls? I wouldn't put anything past that guy.

Or maybe the people who make these fashion rules are just really running out of ideas. I don't know. But a lot of the camo had beads and sequins on it, too. Where does it end, people?? I suppose kid's clothes are supposed to make parents crazy, along with the kids in them.

Cub Rage

I am the first to admit that I can be a real bitch. I sort of revel in that fact, as I was raised to be such a 'nice girl'. Back in my rock and roll days in Los Angeles, I actually considred it a compliment if I overheard that someone thought I was a bitch. Part of the rock and roll persona, of course, and I wanted to take that puppy on. (of course as soon as they actually met me and saw my damn dimples, the gig was up) Despite myself, however, I still feel that 'nice girl' backlash twinge sometimes when I do something bitchy. Not today.

This morning I was doing my weekly grocery shop at Cub Foods. (alas, I'm not allowed to shop exclusively at Byerlys...maybe someday...a girl can dream!) I was in a fine mood--I am one of those rare people who actually loves to grocery shop, and Sullivan is good company--until I got to the check-out line. I was helping the cashier find a coupon item, when the woman behind me pushed my cart forward with a huff. Now, my cart was in her way, and I would not have been miffed at all if she had moved it with a smile, or at least said something to me about it. It was the way she did it that really irked me. Whatever. I payed and proceeded to push my obtrusive cart back to the end where you bag your groceries. Sullivan was standing by the cart like he's been trained to do--such a good boy! There was PLENTY OF ROOM for Miss Huff to have her cart next to mine, but just to be a royal C, she had to move my cart about an inch. I think that's the point that steam started coming out of my ears.

Again, there is Cart Etiquette, people. At the time when you are using a cart, it is Your Cart. It is Your Property. If a person wants Your Cart in another place, a person should nicely ask for it to be moved, or nicely ask if they can move it a bit--don't you agree? Not only did it bug me that she moved it without even a glance in my direction, but Sullivan was hanging on to it and she didn't even regard HIM. You can mess with me, but NOT with my boy! I was in a quandry. I mean, the one bad thing about having kids is that you can't go off on people around them. Hmmm. One DOES want to be a good role model. I suppose any retaliation is not very 'Christian' of me...but then again, I am a Jewthran, so that's a good enough excuse for me to feel like I can make an exception every so often. Somewhere in my fuming fog, it hit me. After I finished putting my bags into My Cart, I went around to the front of it to push it away--all the while ever so nonchalantly pushing C's cart over a few inches with my hip. Ooooh, it was satisfying. Got my piece in, my son completely oblivious. I smiled all the way out, without looking back.

I know, I know, it's a minor thing in Bitch-dom. But we suburban mommies take what we can get.

Kids Say (and Do!) the Darndest Things....

It's a well-known fact that young children will come out with things that definitely make you go, hmmmmm. My son is certainly no exception to this rule. This morning, for some odd reason, he was showing me a little scab on his shoulder. I casually said, "Hmm, I wonder how that got there..." and he asked, "is it a bloody nipple of a Wiccan?" Believe ir or not, I know where the 'Wiccan' thing comes from. Good old Scooby Doo, in the "Scooby Doo and the Witches' Ghost" episode, all about witches of old being burned at the stake and all of that lovely stuff. Who knew Scooby Doo could be so educational?! And how the heck does one explain what a 'Wiccan' is to a four (now five) year old?! I'm still trying to figure out the 'bloody nipple' part. I don't remember that in the Scooby Doo movie....

Sullivan does not need much sleep. He is definitely up by 7:00-- I would say he probably wakes up between 6:00 and 6:30 every morning, no matter what time he goes to bed. Considering both Cory and I love to sleep in, it's a bit of a bummer. When Vivian was young, she was also an early riser--sometimes getting up as early as 5:00! (thankfully, that has since changed, so I do have hope for Sullivan...!) But for Vivian we came up with an idea when she was about three....we got a clock with big-ass digital numbers, taped over the minute ones, and just left the hour one visible. Then we told her if she woke up before she saw the 7, she had to just stay her in room and play quietly. Once the 7 popped up, she could come into our room and wake us up. Being a total rule-follower, it worked like a charm. We tried this with Sullivan. It backfired. With him, he freaks out if it gets PAST 7:00. His world is so ruled by order that it just kills him if he's still trying to pull me out of the bed at 7:01. He will often come into the room before 7:00 and say, "It's not 7:00 yet...when is it going to be 7:00??" Grief. So much for getting any sleep. The other morning I went into his room with him to get him dressed and he said to me, "Last night I tooted at the clock because it wasn't 7:00." He then proceeded to give me a visual, climbing up on his bed and aiming his butt right at the clock. My son farted at the clock. Oh, what are we in for?? Not only is it a very bizarre thing to do, it's quite an act of defiance. The teenage years ought to be interesting...!!!

The Trouble With Boys

I've always been a sucker for cute little boys--now, get your mind out of the gutter, not in THAT way...but check out these guys! My friend Charlie sent me a link in an email that said, "check out this band!" Imagine my surprise when the page popped up and it turned out to be a band of, oh, I don't know...11 year olds?! What a great name, The Trouble With Boys. Adorable! I love their logo, too...they used that male symbol and then chopped off the arrow, and it's laying down on the ground. Hilarious concept, considering what that arrow is supposed to represent, and these kids are probably not using them yet...at least, let's hope not! The entire package is just great. (doh! I said package! Bad Pun!) The bummer is tho, that the only information they have on their site are their individual email addresses...you know, the most important stuff. ! But I would have loved to read a bio about them--where they are from, how they got together. I think I may even order a t-shirt. I guess I'm still not over bad rock-and-roll guys. :-)

A Penumbra Conundrum

Every time Vivian brings home her math homework, I cringe. I pray Coreman will be around to help if she has questions. Math was never a good subject of mine, and I have to tell you--along with everything else these days, the 4th grade math level now is wayyyy ahead of things we used to do as a kid at that age. I'm seriously wondering what the heck I'm gonna do as the years go by and the math just keeps getting more complicated. I'll need to hire a tutor for myself so I can tutor my daughter. LAME!

On the other hand, the one thing I have always been proud of is my ability to spell and the general use of the English language. You know, the typical creative vs. logical thing. I am the creative type, all the way. The only person I know that is good at both is my husband. He claims he's bad at math, but yet he can both program a computer and illustrate on one equally as well. Damn him.

Everything I thought I knew about this subject was challenged when Vivian brought home her latest spelling list. I have been increasingly amazed at the challenge these lists possess for our poor innocent 4th graders. Was I spelling 'decedent' in 4th grade? Or 'gingham'? I was probably spelling 'spandex', since that's what I was wearing. (well, maybe not quite yet. but it was definitely in my future...) I'm pretty darn sure I was not given the word 'penumbra'--in fact, I'm quite sure I've never heard that word before in my life. Maybe a lot of you out there are losing faith in me as you read, but, am I the only one here who thinks this word is ridiculous to give 9 and 10 year olds?! Penumbra?! I had to look it up on my trusty online dictionary so I could use it in a damn sentence for her as I quizzed her for study. Here's what I got:

<n. pl. pe·num·brae (-br) or pe·num·bras
1. A partial shadow, as in an eclipse, between regions of complete shadow and complete illumination. See Synonyms at shade.
2. The grayish outer part of a sunspot.
3. An area in which something exists to a lesser or uncertain degree: “The First Amendment has a penumbra where privacy is protected from governmental intrusion” (Joseph A. Califano, Jr.).
4..An outlying surrounding region; a periphery: “Downtown Chicago and its penumbra also stand rejuvenated” (John McCormick).>>

O...K....try explaining those to a 9 year old. For most of them you need a definition for the definition. And I can be pretty confident in saying that most 9-10 year olds don't use this word in daily conversation. Or even once a year.

"Hey Emily, look at that boy on the playground! He's hiding in the penumbra!"
"Mom, do I really need sunblock? Maybe the penumbras kill some of the UV rays..."
"Even though my room is a pit, it's penumbra is quite clean..."

(notice I am not even going to attempt using definition #3 in a sentence!!!)

Ah, the importance of education. Whoever is in charge of the curriculum is definitely on top of things. Now when my daughter is dating a guy who studies astronomy, she'll sound like she knows what she's talking about. All because of her 4th grade spelling list. I guess when they say you learn from your children, they weren't kidding!

March in Minnesota

Well, well, I guess those blasted weather-people were right this time. We got our storm. Cory actually got to come right back home from work today, not long after he got there--no power. Doesn't mean he's not working, though...just not behind his desk. Gotta love a man and his snow-blower. Especially when you get to stay in the nice, warm house and just reap the benefits. Thank you, Coreman! This is definitely spring in Minnesota. I've always liked the change of seasons--but this is ridiculous! Just the other day it was in the 50's. Craziness. Well, just like on Sullivan's Birth Day, 5 years ago. At least the saving grace is that it IS March, and it will be gone before long.

We survived Chuck E Cheese last night--barely. As soon as we walked in Cory grimaced and said, "Ug, it smells like vomit in here!" Eeeek, I actually told myself it was really just parmesan cheese (you know, on pizza...work with me here, people...!) or the rank smell of stinky feet as the kids climb shoeless in the germ-infested climber. I had to, or I'd never make it through the next hour and a half. Needless to say, I didn't eat any of the pizza that was served at the party. But! The important thing was, the kids had a great time. At least I know my kids did--I hope the others did as well! We actually deflowered Susie, Quinn, Elliot and their mommies, as it was their very first time at Chuck E's! It's funny, we've been there plenty of times before, but it just seemed especially crazy and gross yesterday. There I am, frantically cleaning Sullivan's hands with hand sanitizer--a staple in my purse. I think I have one in each of my purses, so I never am anywhere without it. (forget about the American Express card!!) It felt good to know I wasn't completely paranoid, as each mom did the exact same thing!!! I just don't even want to think of how filthy that place is. The games, the tokens, the climber....ug!!!!! I think next year we will definitely try to steer Sullivan away from that idea for his birthday!!

Happy Birthday, Sullivan!!

My sweet little Peanut-Pie is 5!! Unbelievable. And bless his heart, he is so emotional today! (like his mother!) Cory said he's like a woman on her period. I'm sure that's very common, when kids get so excited about things emotions easily come to the surface. This morning at church, they planted little flower seeds in yogurt containers (good recycling!) and he came down the stairs in tears, holding one that wasn't officially 'his' because he never put his name on 'his' and it was nowhere to be found. It wasn't that little bratty cry that makes you cringe and roll your eyes, it was a sweet little tormented tear-your-heart out quiet cry, complete with The Face. Awwwwww. Poor guy. I know he's had mixed feelings about the whole birthday thing. Not long ago he was very adamant about staying four, NOT wanting to turn five. Isn't that only supposed to happen when you're turning 40?! That boy is definitely ahead of his time--for better or for worse! In a couple of hours we'll be heading to Chuck E Cheese, so hopefully that will take the reality of aging off his mind. A little bad pizza and trading in a gajillion hard-won tickets for a lowly plastic spider will do it every time. I'll have to update on that later...

But first I just have to reminisce. I am so sorry, but you will have to put up with yet another birth story. And it's long. I know you don't read/hear/ experience enough of them in your life. Sullivan came one day after his due date. Obviously that's pretty darn good, but considering I had been walking around for 2 weeks about 80% dilated and 30% effaced (women talk, sorry!), and I had done the same thing with Vivian and was over a week late, I was irritated that this pregnancy had gone one day over it's time. I mean, you always hear how #2 often comes early! So, the day after the due date, I grumbled my way to my weekly doctor appointment-- the week after the appointment that my doctor cheerfully said, "I'm sure I won't see you here next week!"--only to be examined and sent out the door, with those disheartening words, "Well, nothing's changed since last week!" Vivian was with me, and I remember feeling like I needed retail therapy. We went to the Gap. I had felt a bit crampy, but chalked it up to the usual twinges one gets after having a doctor exploring your nether-regions. Long story short, by golly, it was the beginning of labor. Before I knew it we were taking Vivian over to Rosemarie and Greg's and heading to the hospital. Let me just say, it was a day of Most of My Worst Fears--at least, having to do with labor. Being March in Minnesota, of course that day we had a snowstorm. Little Sullivan decided he was going to make his appearance right around rush hour, in a snowstorm in Minnesota. And, little Sullivan (well, and Mommy and Daddy) decided he was going to make an appearance at Abbott Northwestern Hospital, which is not exactly a hop skip and a jump away, right around rush hour, in a snowstorm in Minnesota. Well, needless to say I barely made it to the hospital. Seeing how I was clutching the handle on the roof by the door every few minutes (now we know what those things are for!), Cory asked if maybe I wanted to be dropped off and wheeled up to my room in a wheelchair. NO WAY, I thought, if I do that my husband will still be parking the damn car and not make the birth!!!!! I hobbled my way around the spaghetti corridors of the hospital,--if anyone has been to Abbott, they know exactly what I mean--contractions here and there. I think the nurses knew I meant business when I could barely get my clothes off without another contraction hitting me full force--they were like, "Oh, you're having ANOTHER one?!" All I could say was, "I want my drugs!" Another long story short, and another one of my worst fears, there were no drugs. Even though they tried to make me believe that the anesthesiologist was on his merry way, later on I realized they were totally shamming me and had no intention of getting his butt in that room--I was way too far gone for such frivolities! And another worst fear, it was time to push, and no doctor. She hadn't quite made it into the room, either. LUCKILY I had an amazing nurse who was like, "Well, go ahead and push!" 27 minutes after arriving at the hospital and about 3 pushes later, Sullivan Francis Scout Shubert literally flew into this world. My doctor decided to show up in time to give me a few stitches. Of course in the grand scheme of labor, it's the best way to go. Quick, with no drugs. But man, it was a wild and scary thing! I was so happy thinking that I'd never have to do that again. My doctor said if I decided to, I'd have to schedule the delivery date, otherwise I'd probably end up with a baby on the kitchen floor! Yikes! (and how unsanitary!) I remember being wheeled out of the room on my way to my 'recovery' room. The circular birthing ward was very quiet. I casually mentioned to the group of nurses at the desk in the center, "Huh, must not be very busy tonight!" to which they replied, "Nope, we're full..." Huh, I thought again, nobody was screaming bloody murder like I was. I casually mentioned something about no one being as loud as I was and expecting them to say, "Oh no, you weren't loud!", instead I got some knowing smiles and uncomfortable look-aways. Huh. Ah well. What else would you expect from a Heavy Metal Mommy??

I am sleepy today, after hosting our gourmet group here last night! Another great night with my great friends. It's absolutely amazing that my kids can get any sleep with the eight of us laughing it up into the late hours of the night. Especially Sullivan, who's bedroom is very close to the dining area. Vivian did say our laughter came wafting up the stairs into her room, keeping her up a little later than she wanted to be. Ooops! I remember so vividly when my mom would have parties, hearing the adults laughing away outside my door. Especially on Christmas Eve, when we had our yearly neighborhood party. It was actually a comfort to me, hearing the laughs and general indistinct hum of conversation. I remember drifting off to sleep feeling very satisfied, and safe. I think I tried telling that to Vivian once and she just looked at me like I was nuts. Kids these days!!!

Hijinx Headache!

How 'bout that apron! I had to don it as I served my lemon bars!!!

Oh, my aching head! Not from the wine us Feminine Hijinx ladies had whilst recording a new podcast last night, no...from the endless maniacal laughter that I could not control. Getting together with those girls, I feel like I'm in high school again--or maybe junior high??--and at almost 40, that is a wonderful, refreshing thing. Kyle was a great guest, although our endless gabbing hardly gave him a word in edgewise. Lessons to be learned, since all this is new to us and Kyle was our virgin guest! :-) We got some good baseball talk in, for any male listeners that are still hanging in there with us, and I shared my story of playing Dirty Barbies with a childhood friend. Very educational, let me tell you. We ended the podcast, as we will with all of our guests, with Kyle picking out a mystery question or topic to answer or talk about out of the bejeweled Tampax box I made just for the occasion. The Tampax Topics. You'll have to listen to the podcast to find out what Kyle got, and how he answered....!

Kyle left soon after--probably running all the way home--and the girls (and Brian and the Coreman!) hung out and laughed some more. That's when the REAL fun started happening. Poor Stephanie--she told a story on the podcast that involved a power drill and her hair, and at some point while she was absentmindedly playing with a lock of said hair, she gazed in horror at a giant clump that magically appeared in her hand! Turns out she lost more than she first thought she did!!! This of course became the center of some serious hijinx, because no surprise that the first thing that popped into my head was that it looked just like a merkin. Then the merkin became gross body hair that was springing up all over the place. Kim was very brave to put this tuft under her nose, considering where it had already been....(I decided to keep those photos out of here, to protect the not-so-innocent!) Then I placed it between my toes, wondering what I would look like with Hobbit feet--for the photo I placed my foot directly over the freshly-baked lemon bars for serious gross-out effect. Man, we were on fire. After everyone left I was still laughing, my nose stuffy and my head pounding. I swear, that will be how I die someday. An embolism will interrupt one of my laughs and poof! That will be it. I guess that's not a bad way to go.

So, even though the Merkin Mischief was behind the scenes and not included in the podcast--I know, you are seriously disappointed!--I think it turned out to be a pretty darn good show. And anyone out there who is brave enough to subscribe to the show, please do so on itunes and leave us a review! The more reviews, the higher up on the podcast scale we go! We don't want much, just to take over the world. Mwah ah ah ah ahhhhh!

Spring has Sprung!

...and I'm....well-hung?? I was trying to think of a rhyme for 'sprung' and of course that's the first thing that popped into my head. C'mon, you know you thought of it, too. Too bad it doesn't fit. Then again, I'm glad it doesn't fit. 'Cuz I like being a girl.

Enough of that silliness! Let's go back to spring! Ahhh, spring! Do I dare say it's finally here? Let's try to ignore the upcoming major snowstorm warning that the blasted newspeople brought up last night, daring to say it could be the worst storm yet this year. I will not think of it, I will not! Yesterday my children were frolicking in the yard, and that was great to see.

Spring also means my kids' birthdays. Sullivan's is the day after tomorrow, and Vivian's is in April. I can not believe Sullivan will be 5 already. I have to say, I've been in a bit of a funk about it. He's my little boy! Part of me wants him to stay four forever. I don't think there is much better than being woken up by my little peanut climbing into bed with me every morning at 7:00 sharp. (okay, it may be a bit nicer if it were at least 8:00, but I guess I can live with 7:00) If I miss that snuggle, for whatever reason, I really do feel like something is missing from my day. But turning 5, soon he will be too big for that, and I will mourn that day!!! Maybe he'll always let me get some snuggles in on the sly, though. Vivian is still a snuggle-bug at almost 10. So there's hope. Here's my boy with his requested treat for the birthday celebration at school yesterday. He took one look at the way I'd arranged them on this plate and said, "Wow, that's cool, Mom!" Again, another sign that my boy is growing up! *sniff!*

Sheesh, it's a good thing my Feminine Hijinx ladies--or minxes, as Stephanie would call us--are coming over tonight for another show!! I could definitely use a shot of laughter and bawdiness that always accompanies our get-togethers...whether we are recording a podcast or not! Tonight my friend Kyle will be joining us as our first guest, too. I hope he knows what he's getting into...tee hee! Can't wait!!

Meeting New People

You know, doing the Feminine Hijinx podcast is great fun and I'm so thankful my husband suggested it. I can't tell you what a hoot it's been having regular scheduled chats and laughs with my peeps and having people actually be interested in what we have to say! I sort of figured it would be fun, but what I didn't think about was the cool people we are 'meeting' and getting to know better (at least, meeting through cyber-space--how hilariously, and somehow sadly, a sign of the times) being a result of it. I've heard Kim mention her brother on and off, but after getting some amazing feedback from him and even a hilarious mention on his blog, reading his blog I'm 'getting to know' yet another great person. People I don't normally keep in touch with or that we don't know from Adam are emailing us or commenting on our site, and then we get to know a little about them. Today I read an email from a woman named Donna who designs jewelry here in Minneapolis--she started as something to get her mind off of her chemo treatment, and is now very successful and gives part of her earnings to the Breast Cancer foundation. Truly an inspiration.

So there it is. What we do on Feminine Hijinx is silliness, all in fun, in the grand scheme of things not very meaningful to anyone other than a good laugh--for us, and hopefully for our listeners. But I'm starting to realize that something amazing can actually come out of it, and I certainly didn't expect to go there! I am feeling the love, people! It's a very good thing.

Woo Woos

Woo, this is so much fun. We keep getting such great comments and feedback about our Feminine Hijinx show. I can not tell you how great that is! Whoda thunk there would be so many people out there who like to hear ladies talk trash?? Hilarious. It sounds kind of odd to say that I'm proud of such a thing, but I am. :-) But seriously, it feels good to bring some joy into people's lives, make them laugh a bit. God knows we need that in this world.

And another Woo...for the first time ever, I have actually made money at making music. After writing the theme song for our podcast, Cory suggested that I write some songs that he could offer for his up and coming business, Creative Podcasts Unlimited. That turned into the idea of having my own little business creating these kinds of songs--for podcasts, commercials, presentations--who knows? The sky's the limit! I actually had my first client, The Banjo Brothers. Michael wanted a little ditty for the opening of his commercial podcast he does for the The Sandtrap.com, a golfing site. The really cool thing was that he also wanted a voice over--so that was my first voice over job, too! Woo hoo hoo!!! It was so satisfying to get that check. And it's not even about the money--it's the realization that I can actually be recognized for something that has always meant so much to me, and what I feel is just having fun! So if any of you need your own sound track for your podcast, presentation, or heck, just for being YOU, (like I've always said, I think we all need our own sound tracks!) just let me know! :-)

Learn Something New Every Day

Another day, another podcast. Wahoo! I'm so glad Stephanie is feeling better and that she was up for a show last night! It went very well--as Kim says, they just keep getting better as we go along. At least I think it's feeling more and more natural and easy for us to just do our thing. The hardest part is remembering NOT to mention certain names, which we forgot to do and as a result had to use the old blooper sound to drown them out. It actually sounds pretty hilarious, though, so it adds to the fun. Plus it's difficult to keep it around 30 minutes! As it is, this installment is a bit longer. Ah well, what can you do? It's hard to edit us girls, that's for darn sure.

I pried myself out of bed to get Kim for Coreboard this morning. Then this afternoon we had a family outing to the Science Museum. Yay! I'm a sucker for a Family Outing, especially an educational one. There were definitely some interesting things to be learned at the Science Museum. This TAM woman, for one. (see photo on right) What the heck?? TAM stands for Transparent Anatomical Mannequin, of course. But basically it was one of those weird see-through human body things, like the kind my brother had in his room that used to scare the shit out of me as a kid. Except this thing was even scarier, it was life-sized! I guess we're supposed to learn something as we look through the skin at all of the innards. All I can say is, eeeeu. And then I thought, why is there only a woman? Where's the man?? This chick had some serious nipples. The man TAM would have been interesting.

The other important thing I learned today was that men used to use Prostate Gland Warmers. This thing totally looks like a vibrator for men! Whoa! I guess a man would stick this up his anus and it would warm up to 100 degrees, stimulating the 'abdominal brain'. I've heard that men's brains are in their penises, but this was new to me. I hope they cleaned it well before they put it in this display.

The kids did have a lot of fun. There was this cool thing where air would shoot up these holes and you could hover ping-pong balls over them, making them float in mid-air. I thought Sullivan would 'twinkle' himself right out of the room. (this is one of Sullivan's many 'Sullyisms', he gets so excited that he just screws up his face and wiggles his fingers together--hard to explain, but the Twinkle is the perfect name for it) We climbed up into this old boat that was situated on the veranda (I love that word...don't know if it really fits here, but I'm using it!) of the museum, so you get an incredible view. That was quite cool. I was proud of myself, too, 'cuz it was a bit tight up there but I laughed in the face of claustrophobia and vertigo and just went on up. Then there was the tornado, the dino bones, lots of dead things in jars. It was a full day!

So tonight I shall relax, maybe with a little Lord of the Rings. We still need to finish Return of the King for the 20th time. Ahhh, yes... I think me, my husband and Legolas have a date. Woo!

Serious Heavy Metal!

As much as I've poo-pooed the Olympics and the misguided priorities of it all, it's pretty darn cool to wear a real honest-to-goodness medal around your neck. Tricia and Todd were over last night, and Tricia, being a 3-time Olympic medalist on the USA women's hockey team, brought her hardware over for us to see. You should have seen Vivian's face. You could just see the gears turning in her head, realizing that what she was holding was the same type of medal that she was seeing on the athletes that were standing on those Torino podiums. I had to print up these photos for her this morning, so she could take them to school. Cute! There she is, sporting the 1998 gold medal from Nagano and the 2002 silver from Salt Lake City. And there I am, wearing the Torino bronze, looking like I just medaled in my own event...what would that be, I wonder? Loudest laugh ever? Ability to make a grown man blush?? Certainly not any kind of sport!!! You wouldn't believe the heft of these things. Now that is some serious heavy metal!!!

Tricia agreed to being a guest on an upcoming Feminine Hijinx podcast. Cool! I told her to be prepared--we are not going to want to know anything about the sport, we're more interested in those crazy opening ceremony outfits and who was fraternizing with who. I mean, that's the IMPORTANT news, eh? I'll keep you posted as to when she'll be joining us! Poor Tricia, she has no idea what she's getting into...heh heh heh...

A Comic Situation!

Woo hoo, time to celebrate. According to our stats page, Feminine Hijinx has had over 300 listeners! Craziness! Who'da thunk that many people would care about what 3 giggly, bawdy women would have to say?? This is so much fun! To top it off, we got an amazing comment from a gentleman named John Bigelow who illustrates a daily comic called A Rusty Life! Check it out, he is amazing. Not only did he say glowing things about us, (aww, shucks!) but he offered to draw up a Feminine Hijinx comic! I am positively giddy over the thought that I will be rendered in comic form. What a compliment! The ultimate form of flattery--except maybe an Action Figure. Ha! Can you imagine what sort of super powers each of us would possess? Saving the world from people who take life way too seriously! :-)