A Not-So-Metal Photo Album

Irritating! I had this nice long entry about my weekend finished and as I was loading photos--*poof!*--gone. I hate that! As a result, this will mostly be a photo entry with captions. I'll be damned if I'm writing all that again!!!

Here are the kiddos, up at Grammy's in Park Rapids, Minnesota. Having a nice run in the sprinkler on a hot, hot day.
One of life's simple pleasures. A disgusting giant lollipop that always looks better than it tastes. A souvenir from Vivian's highlight of the trip--the candy store. (the bad part was that I had that bad rap song in my head for days after that--don't know what it's called, but it's some nasty thing about coming to the candy shop and licking the dude's lollipop. Not exactly a song you can absentmindedly start singing around the kids, or your Missouri Synod mother-in-law, for that matter.)

I came home to find Orlando waiting for me on my bed. Kim had finished with him, and then left him there for me on my pillow. A friend indeed. I'll take her sloppy seconds, fo sho!

After a pleasant weekend of doing almost nothing, we came back and did nothing on the patio with the Billadeaus. A greel! (Brian, are you sticking out your tongue at me?!)


Today, a nice afternoon swim in Stephanie's new pool! I should say, Stephanie swam. I stood and tried not to have a heart attack as my son kept insisting he could swim.

There it is, my suburban so-not-metal life of the past few days. Unless of course you count that I kept wanting to sing King Diamond's "Welcome Home" from his album titled "Them" the whole time I was at Connie's house. (Grandmaaaaa!)

Car Poop

Lookit that beautiful vehicle. You know you want it. Imagine the nice ride, the leather, the sunroof, your cheeks being warm and cozy via heated seats when it's 30 below. And it CAN be yours!

2 weeks now I've had this listed on Car Soup, and not one call. Poop. Don't get me wrong, I love this vehicle. I spent a long time researching, test-driving, searching high and low for just the right thing. But, we are trying to do our part and get a vehicle that is better for the environment, and easier on the old wallet. I know, I know, not very metal. I'm sorry to disappoint. But this is what I'd like:

Nice! A Scion xB. It may not be very Metal Mommy, but it could very well be Rapper Mommy. I'll take that moniker, too. This thing is roomier than it looks and is actually pretty darn zippy. I took one for a test spin not long ago and was quite impressed. I think this is the perfect mid-life crisis-don't-accept-your-age vehicle for me, don't you? And a hell of a lot cheaper than a Corvette. I've been saying that I'm not going out of my 30's quietly, and so far I've lived up to that motto. So help me out, people. Buy my Nissan Pathfinder so I can bust a rap in my Scion!

Whoa, Kismet!

Sometimes things happen that just make you go Whoa. Today was the last full day of Sullivan's preschool career at what was once Edina Morningside Preschool, now Wooddale Community Nursery School. Earlier in the year, teacher Virginia had been in the house to look over toys I was donating and saw that I collected Stangl pottery. It took her down Memory Lane, as she commented that her grandmother also had Stangl in the specific Blueberry pattern. Ding! A bell went off in my head: Good End of the Year Gift! I found a bowl in that pattern on ebay, and decided that the same bowl in different patterns would also be good for the other three teachers. Besides Virginia's, I didn't really think too much about the patterns, basically just bid on whatever came up on ebay. (those specific bowls, in good shape, aren't that easy to find...) Eventually I did get my other 3, decided which one looked like what teacher, wrapped them up and brought them into school today.

Virginia was very happy to get that bowl, but the amazing thing was when Sandy unwrapped hers. Her eyes lit up and then filled with tears. She told me then that growing up she ate on Stangl pottery herself, on the exact Thistle pattern that was on the bowl I picked out for her! What are the odds?! I actually grew up eating on it, and the women in my family all collect it, but Stangl pottery is not exactly something that many people know about. Kismet indeed.

I bid a fond farewell to Wooddale Community Nursery School--or I should say to Virginia, Sandy, Sylvia and Sue--four of the most amazing teachers, amazing women I've ever known. They have made such a difference in both Sullivan and Vivian's lives--my kids could not have had a better start. I am so thankful they've been a part of our lives! Tomorrow is the last day of school party, and I'll try to hold it together...

I'm Seeing Starz!

At 8:00 AM this morning I welcomed the Direct TV installer with open arms. No no, not open legs. How dare you think such a thing?? I am no Desperate Housewife! (even tho I do like to pretend I'm Eva Longoria...) I considered greeting him in a pink chiffon nightie and feathered pumps, but nah. Just a pink t-shirt, jeans, and sleep-encrusted eyes. We are trading in Dish Network for Direct TV--which is actually kind of funny, since we did the complete opposite about 5 years ago. But we got a better deal, Coreman got the OLN network just in time for the Stanley Cup playoffs, and I get FREE MOVIE CHANNELS for a month! WOO! I won't be doing anything for 30 days except staring at the TV. Shoot, just remembered Sullivan has his first soccer practice this evening and then I'm meeting my friend Darcie for coffee afterward. Damn, how can one be expected to have a social life when they have access to Starz??? It's a rough life, I tell ya.

Day of Rest?!

A lazy, hazy Sunday. A chill is back in the air! I dragged myself out of bed this morning and into the shower for contemporary choir practice and then of course, to sing it for real for the service. I must say, singing in that choir is quite fun. I haven't had the gumption to go all-out and join the REAL church choir, but the contemporary one is my perfect amount of commitment and involvement right now. Where else would I get to sing about the fragrance of release? None of that this morning, but I did think about Stephanie and Kim whilst I sang something about playing the flute. They know exactly of what I speak. Sullivan went up and sang a couple of songs with his Sunday school class, and Vivian sang herself another solo, along with my choir. She brought many to tears, and I myself had to hold them back. It will be interesting to see what that girl does in the years to come.

So much for a day of rest--the rest of the day will be spent tidying up the house. Mother-In-Law Connie will be coming to spend the night tonight, and the goils are coming over later for another podcast. Am I lucky or what, getting this weekly visit with my peeps for a night of laughs??

Trimming My Bush

Don't ask me why, but for quite a while now I've wanted a bonsai tree. There is just something about them that I think is so COOL. They may not be very metal, but they are ZEN. And I'll take all the zen I can get.

A few days ago, I finally found my very own bonsai tree at Costco, of all places. It was meant to be, because I was not necessarily looking for a bonsai tree when I was shopping for toilet paper and a new bathing suit for Vivian. I looked through all of them to find the perfect one, and wouldn't you know--it ended up being the very first one I picked up? Kismet, fo sho.

So I get the tree home and put it on the hutch in between the dining and living rooms, right where I've always pictured one. But now, of course, I have to do something with it. Bonsai trees don't come looking like bonsai trees. They just look like little trees. Just about any kind of tree can be made into a bonsai. I was a little panicked, for if I totally messed it up it would not be very zen any more. If it didn't end up looking just right, it would be like my Intaglio/butterfly pendant. Always just a little annoying.

I went to Half Price Books looking for a book about bonsai, and I found one. Love that place. (also where and when I got my Ministry CD. Angst and Zen. The yin and the yang. It works.) Of course in the book it says you have to have all of these specific tools to prune and trim the bonsai. Long story short, after unsuccessfully searching for them high and low I grabbed the old kitchen shears and went to work. I should have taken a before photo, but, here she is! I'm quite proud of 'er, actually. A few snips here and there, some pinching and a lot of pokes to the fingers later, a bonsai. Mr. Miyagi would be quite proud, I think. (there he is, with his bonsai tree!) How very Hobbit-like of me, trimming the verbs. I just hope it doesn't die. That would be typical, the way I am with plants. Trimming my bonsai bush is about as green as I get. I won't say anything about trimming the other bush. But I will say, my bush would make a better president. :-)

Another Day, Another Solo...

Despite the curse of the Stinkerpot, yesterday turned out to be quite nice. We had a great dinner for Coreman's birthday, and then went to Vivian's chorus concert at her school. The last concert was the 4th grade chorus, and this was the elective choral group that is made up of 4th, 5th and 6th graders. Vivian had another solo, "Hakuna Matata", from The Lion King. She went up there after quite the introduction by her choral director, and did another amazing job. I love the way she can just get up there and do her thing, so confident. A proud Mommy indeed. There she is with Mr. Shearer, the director!

After the concert we came home and had a birthday dessert--Rosemarie's amazing brownie recipe with vanilla ice cream and Stephanie's Killer Chocolate Sauce on top! Whoa! Talk about decadent! Just add a new layer of fat to my tummy and thighs. Then Coreman and I got up to Treebeard in The Two Towers. yes.

A quiet Friday that will lead up to a quiet weekend. Probably more Lord of the Rings. Works for me!

Something Wicked This Way Comes...

...and that would be my son. Oh sure, he looks pretty darn cute here spelling out 'Wiccan' on the refrigerator. (only MY son. How very metal!) But oh, he's been a pill lately. He's like that nursery rhyme. When he's good, he's very, very good--but when he's bad....! Look out! The talking back, the defiance! I never had to deal with this with Vivian. If it's like this now, I can only imagine what he'll be like as a teenager. That is a scary thought indeed.

It's put me in a foul mood, which is not good on MY HUSBAND'S BIRTHDAY. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CORY!!! Hopefully he's in a better mood than I. I'm gonna make him a kill dinner tonight--fresh salmon on the grill, Stephanie's Walnut and Ricotta Pesto...I may even let him skip a vegetable, since it's his day. Then our big plan tonight is to attend Vivian's chorus concert at the school. Cute! She's got another solo, and she's all excited. Then tonight, maybe more Lord of the Rings. We are now onto The Two Towers, the second of the trilogy. For probably about the 10th time. :-) Sounds like a good evening to me! It might just snap me out of my crankiness. Especially when I can put Mr. Stinkerpot to bed.

Meanwhile, I'll listen to the Ministry CD I just got at Half Price Books, "The Mind Is a Terrible Thing to Taste". Music from back in the day. Angry music. Good music to grumble by! Yeah!

Because I'm Worth It, Damn It!

There I was, sitting on the pot reading my hand-me-down In Style magazine from my friend Darcie that I swapped out for the latest Redbook, and I saw this gorgeous photo of Penelope Cruz, sporting the latest Loreal color. I decided right then and there that I needed to color my hair. (okay, I finished my business and flushed first.) Advertising at it's finest! I fell for it. Normally if anything is done to my hair, besides the occasional desperate self-bang trim, it's done at by Emily at Curl Up and Dye, who I've been loyal to for years. Nobody does me like Emily. But something came over me and I just had to look like Penelope. Now!

Poor Sullivan, I whisked him right out of his jammies and into Target just after 8:00 AM so I could get started. Hey, when I decide to do something, I want it done yesterday. It's the price of being 5, you get dragged along everywhere with your Mommy. Payback for waking me up at 7:00 every morning and basically being waited on hand and foot. What was really funny is that there was another mom in the aisle pouring over hair color with her son in tow as well, and he looked about the same age. I'm convinced they put those irresistible little shiny hoops of sample hair out just for little ones to have something to do whilst their crazed mommies try to figure out whether to go chestnut brown or ashe. It works!

I came home, took a deep breath and plunged. I had forgotten just what a pain in the ass it is to color your hair at home. And what a mess! I tried to be really careful but somehow still managed to get some hair color over on the window sill. (huh?!) That's going to leave a mark. Small price to pay for beauty!

30 minutes later, I rinsed. And I rinsed. And I rinsed. Even if you have hard water, it seems to take FOREVER for that damn color stuff to wash out of your hair. Where does it hide in there? But I rinsed, conditioned, towel dried, blow dried--and voila! Not bad. A lot of hassle, but hey. Instant gratification. I'm all about that! (there's my Stephanie-esque picture I took of myself! Ha!)

Cory didn't even notice until I told him I did it. Then he was like, "Oh yeah! Now I notice it!" Stephanie came by to pick up Vivian for a swim with Nathan over in their new pool, and she didn't notice either. Hilarious. But in their defense, it's really my natural color, only intensified a bit. And I finally got rid of those highlights that were supposed to be gold, but alas, were red. Always red, no matter what I do. I think my hair is trying to say something. Something like, "just stick with brown, kid." So there it is. Me and Penelope. (now if only they bottled up something to make me look like the rest of her...)

It's kind of like life, isn't it? You try all of these new and fancy ways to be you as the years go by, and then at some point you realize the real you is really all you're going to be. You just have to learn to be happy with what you are, with what you've got. Cuz damn it, I'm worth it!

Monday Madness

Will it rain? Will it shine? It's anyone's guess today. Today was our usual Monday Madness. Grocery store. Swimming lesson. Picking up the kids from the middle school and walking them to their after-school class at our church. (it's a volunteer thing Sullivan and I do once a week, walking these kids. I know, I know, how volunteery of me.) Then tonight we go to Sullivan's soccer extravaganza thingie at the Rec Center. Basically just a meeting to find out who his coach is and when he'll practice/play. Fun! I can't wait to see him out there on the field. I just hope he realizes quickly that it's not only his ball, that he needs to let other kids kick it, too. Should be interesting...! Could I actually add Soccer Mom to my list of monikers now? ooooh. The Metal Soccer Mommy. (there's Sullivan strikin' a pose in Vivian's old soccer gear, from when she tried it out! cute!)

Last night I shared my Mother's Day evening with two of the best mommies ever, Kim and Stephanie, for our Feminine Hijinx podcast. Fun, as always...make sure and tune in!

Happy Mom's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all of those wonderful mothers out there. You know who you are. I always thought it would be funny to be able to buy a special Mother's Day card for someone who was really an ass. You buy a card, all sweet-looking in a lavender envelope, maybe even smelling of Love's Baby Soft, on the cover is written the usual Happy Mother's Day greeting in swirly cursive with the requisite butterflies and birds...then they open it up and it says something like, "Happy Mother's Day to one serious Mother Fucker." Ha!!! (doh! I just said the F bomb! Won't Stephanie be so proud of me?) I think I should contact Hallmark, don't you?

A Sleepy Day

Good *yawn* morning...no, wait! Good afternoon! With this cold, dreary day and after getting to bed after midnight the past two nights, I am one sleepy Metal Momma. I had to think long and hard about whether I should use this time whilst Sullivan watches the half-hour long "Baby Neptune" ( a Baby Einstein movie that at five years old, still holds his attention!) to write a new blog entry, or to lay down with my soft blankie over me and catch some ZZZ's. (life is rough, isn't it?!) But I felt such a responsibility to my two faithful readers, so, the blog won out. Aren't you lucky?? :-)

I was up late on Wednesday because I met my Feminine Hijinx minxes for our first roving podcast at McCoys, which actually turned out to be one big bust. The restaurant was WAY too noisy and that was WAY too annoying. Not a good thing in a podcast. It can only be annoying if it's something I'M doing to be annoying. But of course we ladies still managed to have fun and talk way into the night. Who, us??

Last night I really had no excuse for staying up late, I was watching "Crimson Tide" on TNT. Gene Hackman really gives me the creeps. He's always playing some leering, crotchety old guy. Of course there was no kissing going on in this movie, but I kept grossing myself out wondering what it would be like to have to kiss Gene Hackman. Probably because I had seen the end of "The Firm" the other night, (probably another too-late night with TNT) in which Gene Hackman plays a leering crotchety old lawyer and the actress in the movie (can't remember her name now) DOES have to kiss him. Ug. That's enough to turn you off your popcorn.

This morning I took Sullivan to his kindergarten assessment at what will soon be his new school. Sigh. It was fun to be in the building again, talking with teachers that all know his big sister Vivian. Sullivan made his mother proud, acing all of the little tests they have to do and reading this little sheet they had available with no problem at all. He even made sure to count the sides of the octagon before proudly announcing that it was one. It's going to be one wild ride with that boy, I tell you. Of course the other plus of the morning was that I got to see Kim. She's such a nice school secretary. She even donned her sunshine yellow apron for me as she got ready for lunch duty.

Today is a tired day indeed. Yesterday I read the entire "Ramona the Pest" book to Sullivan--which warmed the cockles of my soul, being one of my all-time fave children's books--and today we're on to "Ramona the Brave". Tonight will be a yummy Raclette dinner with challah bread that Coreman always gets on his way home from work on Fridays. Tradition! Maybe tonight I will get to bed at a decent time. No TNT! Bad TNT!

Me and the Elf

Those are my arms, trying to grab at my beloved Legolas from Mirkwood. You knew, didn't you? You could just tell those are MY arms. Little old me has inspired a friend of mine (who wants to remain anonymous...oooh, mysterious!) to put his own sick and twisted twist on my lust for the elf on this site he writes and illustrates for, tinydeadbunny.com This blog of sorts is so hilarious, I think I may have to give the URL a permanent home in my list of Sites To Rule Them All. (on your right) Ricardo Pants and I were emailing back and forth and when he mentioned hoping to find a gollum in the corner of his attic, I took it as a Tolkien reference (what else?!) and replied that I myself would rather find the elf up in my attic. The rest is history, and I have actually acquired 'muse' status now. sigh. Doesn't that sound romantic? Too bad it's not, really. But I can tuck that one up into my fantasies along with my elf. sigh.

Back to reality. Yesterday I had a lovely lunch with lovely Stephanie on my patio. Sullivan had a field trip at school which actually gave me an extra hour, so, instead of cleaning the house and getting things done, why not spend that time with a friend?? She brought some fish tacos from Baja Sol--(no dirty jokes now, people) and we spent the entire time gabbing. What, us? A perfect afternoon, in my book.

And tonight, more gabbing! Stephanie, Kim and I will be meeting at McCoys for our first roving podcast!!! Now we can take Feminine Hijinx on the road! Yeah! Look out, diners. They may easily lose their appetite if we start talking about meat curtains or hot carls (thanx, Pat!) at the table, which could very easily happen. And if it happens, it will be LOUD. We know no other volume. (just as the Ring knows no other master. sorry.)

Mother-In-Laws Can Be Metal, Too

Imagine my surprise when sleepy, bleary-eyed me is stumbling into the bathroom after a fun night at Wildfire restaurant only to find a giant bumblebee such as this on the floor in front of the sink! Now don't get me wrong, I appreciate the beauty and value of a bee and actually think these giant fuzzy black and yellows are quite cute. But I don't want to step on one, and I don't want one mad at me. Imagine the sting on that mothah! I was in a quandary. I didn't exactly want to smash the thing, but I didn't exactly want to try to catch it, either. (where was Cory, btw? now that I think about it, I have no clue where he was. Isn't that what husbands are for, to eliminate all creepy crawly things?!)

But never fear! Mother-In-Law Connie was here! She was in town, and babysat for us whilst we went out. (bless.) She went right in there and bent down to have a looksie. I asked her, sadly, if she wanted a shoe. No, she said, I'll just grab a kleenex. A wha? A flimsy little tissue? Whoa! And sure enough, she plucked a kleenex right out of the box and proceeded to cocoon that giant bee right into it. She was very calm carrying it to the back door to set it free, the bee...not so calm. The poor thing was buzzing like crazy in it's little Puff's prison. It's amazing how loud those things are! I am only guessing that when Connie opened the door the bee flew away--I was hovering in the background, convinced that thing was going to be PISSED and sting her and anyone else that may have been an accomplice in that dastardly claustrophobic deed. But then of course it was free, so it probably shrugged it's shoulders and went, Ah well. I'll beeeee nice this time. (sorry, couldn't resist)

So there it is. I have a new-found respect for my mother-in-law. I always knew that not much riled her, but who knew she was so Metal?? Carrying a giant bumble bee outside with your almost-bare hands earns the Metal title, for sure. It may even garner the heavy metal hand signal. I don't think she'd quite get it, though. Then I'd have to explain it and that would ruin the effect. But that's okay, my Mother-In-Law is still metal.

(and talk about metal....lookit how that guy above has the bee on his FINGER! check out this web site, where the lunatic has all sorts of bees and wasps resting on his appendage. Whoa!)

Marshmallow Nookie

Another marshmallow-eye morning, for sure, (fo sho!) after our 10th Feminine Hijinx show last night! Number 10, it sounds significant, eh? Well, it certainly was, as our mysterious guest came through and it was amazingly fun! Robbyne Kaamil --comedian, talk-show host, advice columnist, you name it--called in from New York City and we had our first telephone interview! About a month ago, we got an email from her publicist saying she came across our show and thought it would be a good avenue for Robbyne, and that she would like to be a guest! Whoa! So we had the honor of chatting it up with her last night, and it was great. She was hilarious, smart, witty, and sweet. I was a bit nervous, I'll admit, never having met this woman or conducting a 'serious' interview with someone big-time! Given the fact that at one point she even said we should have our own show on 'Oxygen' made us feel pretty darn good! I was like, Let's Go! I told her we merely wanted to take over the world and, not missing a beat, she said, "One woman at a time..." Nice.

Ahhh, waking up to the sun, blue skies, and the wind in the newly-green trees. Very nice. Another busy day with little happenings. Darcie and her boys are coming over to play this morning, and after I drop Sullivan off at school Pastor Tim is coming over for some coffee and twalk. Gotta love that. Go to bed talking about Robbyne's 'Nookie Oath', and wake up the next day to some nice theological musings with the Pastor. I love my paradoxical life.

A lot of Nothing

Sullivan and I playing Land Before Time in our yard

Whew, the days are flying by and I haven't even posted an entry in a while. Isn't it weird how you can have so many little things going on, but when you go to remember what the heck you've been up to, you just shrug your shoulders and go, "Aaaa, nothing..." Of course who wants to hear about the mundane happenings of life like going to the grocery store, a swimming lesson, a trip to the mall, various play dates? Unless something tragic or hilarious happens, is it really news? Of course life is best when it's just moving along and you DON'T really notice the time flying by. I'm certainly not complaining!!

The other night I did attend a boutique at Sue Reid's house. Sue is one of Sullivan's teachers and a good friend of mine. She is an amazing lady, let me tell you. (all of those teachers are, fo sho!) Sue just happened to stumble upon a talent she never knew was in her--she paints the most intricate, sweet little watercolor paintings of flowers. She puts them in frames, or makes handmade cards with them. I just LOVE the fact that, feeling inspired, she just picked up a paintbrush one day and started painting--and look what came out!! Don't give up on the dream, people! If you want to try something, do it! Stuff like that definitely fills the soul. And heck, as Sue found out, you just might be good at it! Anyway, she asked me if I wanted to also display my jewelry at this little happening, as her daughter had some of her jewelry and there were other women there hawking their wares. I thought heck, why not? I'm not actively pursuing the jewelry stuff anymore--as much fun as it is to make things and come up with the new and different ideas, it's an expensive hobby and honestly I still don't know if I've made as much as I've put into it. But for this show I didn't have to buy any new supplies or make anything, I still have things laying around that haven't sold at previous shows, so it didn't hurt to display them. It was a very nice evening, chatting with some of the moms I see but never have much time to gab with since our kids are always pulling on our arms to get moving. Plus I managed to get rid of some more inventory. NICE!

Yesterday Steph asked if I wanted to join her in attending her friend Bowen's graduation media display show. It was fun to get a bit gussied and head downtown for a bit. I always wonder why the heck it was so important for Cory and I to live by the city when we NEVER spend any time in it. Bowen's work was excellent and of course it was fun to see Steph's sister Stacey, and Coop-A-Doop! (baby Cooper) He looked pretty darn happy amongst the Artsie-Fartsies. Too bad he was so fartsie, tho, even during sleep he had quite the fuss or two, due to bad gas. Poor guy. I hate it when that happens.

Today is a quiet day, more of doing a lot of nothing. But tonight! Another Feminine Hijinx installment! I'm waiting to hear confirmation about a special guest we should be having tonight--our first call-in! Curious? Well, tune in!! It should be "live" at about, oh, midnight!!! :-) It's a good thing we won't really be able to get a photo taken with our remote guest...dumb-ass me watched "The Joy Luck Club" last night and my eyes are like a couple of Jet-Puffed marshmallows today from crying. Oy!