Feeling Old, Part One

Man, nothing like watching a little bad late night TV to make you feel old. Coreman and I settled down to a nice evening of random mind numbing and fell upon Gene Simmon's new 'reality' show, "Gene Simmons Family Jewels". First of all, how 'real' do they really think we think it is?! But insulting one's intelligence is a whole different rant. This was a total rip-off of the Ozzy thing, the type of show that gives us a window of what living with a rock and roll guy is really like. (again, questioning 'really'!) It was certainly amusing, I watched 2 episodes...but in one Gene was all depressed because as he drove onto a movie set he was having a hard time getting in because they didn't recognize him. I could care less about Gene's ego--it's big enough for all of us--but it made me realize just how OLD the guy is, and then in turn just how OLD I am. How could someone not know who he was?! But I guess since KISS is certainly not the big deal it was in the 70's, it makes sense. It was only a matter of time.

At a certain point in my life--all thanks to a boyfriend, Hayden--I was introduced to KISS and they completely took over my life. It was actually toward the end of their 'make-up' days, at the beginning of their downfall, if you ask me. I remember the MTV episode where they revealed their faces that had been hidden behind years of make-up and almost being in tears, I thought it was truly the end. But no, KISS soldiered on and survived the death of a few members and the addition of hair extentions. Like the Rolling Stones, now you couldn't kill them even if you tried.

Back when I was living in LA I met Gene Simmons. I always tried to pride myself on NOT being a groupie--I worked in a store right on Melrose Avenue and saw a lot of celebrities. I imagined they would like to have one less person acting like a fool around them, so I always treated them as if they were just people (gee, and I think they are...) and didn't really make a big deal about it. One night, however, I was in a club and there was Mr. Simmons himself, sitting at a table checking out some new up and coming band. I knew I shouldn't, but I just had to go over and say SOMETHING to him, knowing that afterwards I would be really mad at myself if I didn't. So I risked looking like the big Fool and did the unthinkable by letting him know that I had always loved him and KISS, that I sang in a band myself...you know, the usual groupie banter. I was leaning down and screaming at him, as it was extremely loud in there. He was listening politely, all the time looking directly into my eyes and wearing a smirk whilst putting his index finger on my chest. Now I know this sounds dirty, but actually it was HIGH UP on my chest and not close to any naughty bits at all. I was completely confused, but finished what I was saying. I finally asked him what the hell he was doing. Without breaking eye contact he says to me, "When you bend down like that I can see right down your shirt...." At this I stood up, turned around and walked away, trying to salvage as much dignity as I possibly could. What a charmer, eh?? Lesson learned: if you have an idol, don't talk to him/her. The imagined personality will more likely be the one you would prefer.

So, last night I said 'goodnight' to Gene Simmons, shaking my head and feeling a bit old. I will always love KISS, though, even if they are jerks. And if one day I decide I don't, I can sell my signed lunchbox for a lot of money on ebay. That is, if the people on ebay still know who KISS are by then...!!!