The Bone

The Charm School Dropouts

Brian, Sambone, me and The Rand

I must, once again, pay homage to the internet. It has now put me in touch with my old bass player from The Charm School Dropouts, the second band I was in when I lived in Los Angeles!!!


After I left Warbride in a tizzy, I put an ad in the local music rag as a singer wanting to put together another band. Oh man, what a naive fool I was. (or, foo, as I would say with Stephanie!) I mean, it all turned out to be just fine, but there I was with a 3" by 3" photo lookin' all slutty for the world to see--potential bandmates, of course, but also all of the many many freaks out there. And I sure got some freaky calls. I remember one guy called to see if I wanted a pedicure. I found out later that he called any band girl he could and offered to work on their feet. Needless to say, I declined his offer. Eventually I got a call from Randall Winter, or The Rand, as he soon came to be known as. Amazingly enough, he was one of the first normal people to call and I immediately liked him. (of course, normal is stretching it with any of us, really!) He played a mean guitar and was hilarious to boot. Before I knew it, I had acquired another brother. (as Lori would say, a brothah from antotha mothah--come to think of it, that's how Rand would say it, too, originally being from Brooklyn!) The bandmate search then became a dual effort. The next person we brought in was Sammy Justinich, the bass player. (and the guy who brought about this post!) Justinich, of course, being ripe for the picking-on..."it's not VD, it's Just-an-Itch!" Sorry, Sam! Sammy also became known as the Samebone, The Bone, or The Sambone-Hambone-Manbone- Jambone. (considering a lot of the guys I knew were named things like Bumper, Schitzo and Roach, Rand and Sambone were really quite tame...)


Sam was great. He actually had a job, came to rehearsal on time, always worked hard. That counted for a lot in that town, let me tell you. He looked awesome on stage--at least what you could see of him behind his long mane of hair. The Bone was one of those really quiet guys until he got drunk. Then, look out! I remember Rand carefully removing Sam from many a scene before a fight ensued. All in the name of Rock and Roll, man. As Sammy would say--Crazy man, Crazy.

Our entire band existence was plagued with trying to find a permanent drummer. (so Spinal Tap, isn't it? At least none of them spontaneously combusted...at least not that I know of!) The one we had for the longest period of time was Brian, he was excellent. We had a guy named Kevin that helped us out for a while, he was really great, too. Then there was another guy--my mind is a complete blank, I can not remember his name! Maybe Sam can remind me. Let's hope he has a better memory than me. I can see this drummer, but alas, the name is not coming to me. I have such a bad memory, I don't even remember why Brian left the band. It's all such a haze now--and I didn't even do any drugs! It's amazing when I think of how I got out of there with a pretty clean slate. I drank some, but never enough to pass out or even be sick. Always had control--that's me! The Control Freak! But we had a lot of fun and really tried to shake things up a bit. I was the ultimate Bad Girl when I took one of Rand's songs and turned it into "I'm Gonna Wipe My Ass With Your Heart". Here are the lyrics:

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This is my story, 'tis sad but true
About a boy who drives me mad, there's only one thing I can do

I can't take it no more, I'm going crazy, I'm out of my mind
It seems a decent man with a backbone is so damn hard to find
I'm out of my mind
I thought you were crass
But you just kissed my ass
Yeah, you were much too kind, so...

I'm gonna wipe my ass with your heart
I'm gonna wipe my ass with your heart, and that's just a start

I can't answer the door, I can't answer the goddamn phone
You don't get the hint, you just think I'm never home
You're killing me with kindness, you strangle with me love
Suffocate me six feet under, I can't breathe, so...

I'm gonna wipe my ass with your heart
I'm gonna wipe my ass with your heart and that's just a start

I've got a doormat under my feet
I don't need one under the sheets
You just don't seem to understand
There's a time to be nice and a time to be a man
Don't ask me what to do, just do it!
It's too late now, you blew it
I spit on your warm embrace
I shit on your smiling face

Yeah, you know I ain't shittin' you....

I'm gonna wipe my ass with your heart
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Ha! Talk about your rock and roll angst. It was not fiction though, let me tell you. Finding a decent guy in that town was nigh impossible. Either they were total assholes who treated you like shit and only wanted you to take care of them because they had no money and no life, or they were TOO nice (like this poor sap!) and drove you absolutely insane. I'm so glad I got out of that place! I had to come to good ol' Minnesota to find a good one. Of course, I think it had a lot to do with where I was at emotionally, too. Once I decided to leave that place, I came to realize what was really important in my life. Even if I had 'made it', I was not going to be happy with those people and that lifestyle. I was more than ready to leave it all behind.

But there were definitely diamonds in the rough, and The Sambone was one of them. (there he is today, with fiancee Yvonne!) I'm so glad he got in touch with me! I'm so glad he's not dead! Sadly, that is the outcome of some of the people I knew back then. Ahh, memories. They light the corners of my mind. Too bad they can't shed a little more of that light. Although, maybe what I do remember is more than enough!!! Crazy!